WEEKS 1 and 2 ARE IN THE BOOKS and in between......ONE BIG ASS THUD!!!

Welcome Back to the Journey..............

EDITORS NOTE: After today September 20th, I will be EXACTLY halfway home---15 treatments down/15 treatments to go. I say after today as I am actually typing this Editor's Note in the patient waiting room, waiting to be called for my treatment. A little behind schedule tonight. So even though 3 weeks are in the books, I'm a slacker and only provide a post for now on Weeks 1 and 2......oh yeah.....and the BIG ASS THUD as well. ENJOY!!!

The picture I have posted to accompany this latest blog post is what I affectionately called (and titled) "The Worm". The worm was borne out of Surgery #2, the neck dissection and I called it that because it looked like a big ole long worm just laying there on my neck. It's attached to help correctly represent where the BIG ASS THUD came from on Friday September 3rd and continued into Saturday September 4th. Surely you know with me.....nothing ever goes to plan......nothing ever gets done easy.......shit happens and I always seem to have a story. Or as I better put it to my niece last week......"Week One of Radiation was going along way too easy. I needed something to happen so that I could have a fun blogspot to write." So here goes...............

WEEK 1.....The Start

Yes Week 1 of Radiation was relatively boring. But I must start out with this.......When I got off the elevator....remember now that my appointment is 6:20 at night.....I got off the elevator and the waiting room was PACKED. It was right then in some ways that it hit me.....I'm being treated for CANCER. Frankly, it depressed me for a second or 2, to think that THIS MANY PEOPLE were here at 6:00 PM getting treated for some kind of cancer. It was at that moment when the "Why not me"? really set in. A moment when I thought to myself....I understand and accept why I'm here, but why do all of these other people have to go thru the same thing? In some ways, this was one of those...."you gotta walk in these shoes" type of thing. But that initial walk off the elevator was a cold and stark slap in the face telling me this IS the real deal. But then we get started...........

The first day I had a very good level of anxiety as I just wanted to know the routine, how the sequencing of treatment worked. The good news is I soon learned was that the ACTUAL time of "on the table" GETTING treatment is only about 10-12 minutes to stay there bolted down with the ole Fencer Mask. BUT......each day starts with a large disc hovering right over my head with a bright light shining. After it moves then an x-ray machine with 4 "stations" like a weather vane moves overhead, under head, left side and right side. These 4 "stations" are actually x-ray machines and they take a photo of your exact positioning on the bed and in your mask. This is done each day to make certain that all the coordinates of treatment are hitting all the right spots. When that alignment is OK....and many times on the 1st try it is not, ONLY then can treatment begin. So this "prep" takes about 5 minutes, so when combined with the actual treatment....if all goes well, usually in and out of the treatment room in <20 minutes, which is how much time they have between treatment sessions.

My treatment time for the 6 weeks (with a few exceptions) is 6:20PM and while I was not happy when I was first notified of that, the time has actually worked out well for me, for Grace's work and for us to coordinate all activity with the kids. I also found out that my day to see Dr Lin, the Radiation Oncologist is every Wednesday. The only thing to come out of Week 1's visit with him was that my Blood Pressure was a little more elevated than ideal.........and MUCH more on this later. The other tidbit with the doctor each week is gonna be the scale. I'm starting out at 209lbs for the radiation process. While this is an UGLY number, it is down from the 228lbs that I weighed when this whole journey got started.

So we ALMOST get to the end of Week 1 and of course I need to make it interesting, so here comes.........

THE BIG ASS THUD

I think I feel my blood pressure rising just typing this part.........

It first started at Physical Therapy that morning. Back to the culprit pictured above, "The Worm" it was during this week that the PT started to work my neck to try and loosen some of the scar tissue left as "The Worm" disappears. So in one part of this therapy, my neck was hanging from the table to help this process. Well when I lifted my head up to sit up, I got a little bit of head rush. No big deal, had them many times before. Lasted a few seconds and done. Flash forward all the way to Friday night at 6:20 and my treatment session.......I go to lay on the table and....head rush again. Ahhhhh, not good! This one was a little more intense and a little more spinning. The staff sat me up and I relaxed for a few minutes and laid back down and no problem. So I proceeded with treatment and no problem. And then the THUD begins......

When I bent down at my locker to change out of my gown and into my shirt, the entire room started to spin. Ahhhhh, not good! So I proceeded to change in a spinning room so I could get out to the waiting room to take a break and try and drink some water. Probably should mention at this point, that I drove myself to treatment. Ahhhhh, not good! So then I walk from the locker room to the waiting room feeling like I was doing the same walk I did after a Schlitz Malt Liquor ("THE BULL") 3-4 kegger in college. OK, I was familiar with that walk, but not in this setting. Ahhhh, not good!

So now I'm sitting in the waiting room and every part of it is spinning. Ahhhhhh, not good! Now I did that same collegiate Schlitz Malt Liquor kegger walk thru the waiting room and back into the nurses station, which actually makes my stomach queasy. I get to the nurses station and lovely Theresa proceeds to tell me that I'm looking a little bit like Edgar Winter in the face color department. No sooner she gets me into a chair, I start vomiting and vomiting and vomiting. Ahhhh, starting to get bad!. So it is at this point that I begin to worry. I've never vomited when getting dizzy, having the head spins or even once with a concussion playing hockey in college. So now I'm spinning, I'm puking, I'm white as a Winter brother, I'm VERY worried and then I start to break into a cold sweat. Ahhhhhh, getting a little more than bad! The nurse proceeds to take my BP and it is 179/128. In case you missed that, that is 179/128!!!!!!! That's no typo!!! Ahhhhhh, now VERY bad!

So it is at this point that my Radiation Oncologist Dr. Lin gets on scene. Now let me tell you. Oncologists are probably the most even-keeled, non-emotional people on the planet due to this incredibly life and death type of job they have. When I looked at him and he looked scared, I thought I was gonna wet myself. I'm saying, if he's nervous???.......Ahhhhh, VERY, VERY bad!

So now I'm on a stretcher and getting rushed thru 2 skyways and thru 2 buildings to get to the ER. I'm feeling like my heart is gonna beat right out of my chest, I'm in a cold sweat, trying not to vomit and all the while everything is still spinning around me. Then I hear the words.....STROKE and BLEEDING FROM THE BRAIN come out of Dr. Lin's mouth. Not knowing any of the other words in that sentence or sentences has now made this, Ahhhhhh, so INCREDIBLY bad! This is the point where I see myself reaching for my wallet and pulling out money while someone hands me an invoice for a farm. Because right around now when I heard those words, I thought I was buying the farm. Cash on the spot!!!

But before we can finally make it to the ER, we have one of those---can only happen to Dave kind of moments. How many people working @UPenn that you could come across in transit and what are the chances of seeing someone you know. Have you guessed it yet??? I look up from the stretcher and catch a doctor looking down at me......yes, my surgeon Dr. Weinstein. In a fleeting moment all I get is a OMG-WTF look like......"I just saw the guy and he was doing great and what friggin happened"??? I'm telling you, only me....only me.

When we hit the ER they immediately do a scan of the back of my head and find out ASAP that I was not bleeding from the brain. They get me juiced up with some meds to lower the blood pressure and something to calm me down. They do initial tests on me to see if my coordination is off in any way or my speech or vision is impaired. Pass all these tests. Right around this time Grace arrives with my brother and sister-in-law (Joe and Tracey) as she had to drive from NJ not knowing ANYTHING that was going on. Fun, huh? So while Joe and Tracey enjoy the splendor and the wonderful company in the ER waiting room Grace is back with me in the holding cell trying to get comfortable or nap on 2 of the most uncomfortable chairs in the world.

Finally around midnight (I think) a staff neurologist comes in. Tells me my scan was fine, gives me additional tests and proceeds to tell me his diagnosis at this point is a good case of vertigo. Vertigo probably caused by the stretching of the neck at Physical Therapy. So if I can drink some Ginger Ale and eat some saltines without vomiting I can go home. Unlike the Speech and Swallow tests which I aced with flying colors, I failed this one MISERABLY....yes I yakked up the Saltines. Damn was I pissed!!! Can't go home now, Grace wants to shoot me and it is off to the observation area which we get don't into until about 3:30AM.

Fast forwarding to the end of this episode is that I got discharged around 7:00iPM Saturday night. The diagnosis as originally thought was the ending diagnosis....."Positional Vertigo". But it took all day Saturday as the vomiting, stretching of the neck during Physical Therapy and current impaired condition of my neck.....enough concern that they wanted to be completely thorough (as everyone @UPenn has been since this journey started!) and do additional tests. The resident neurologist who diagnosed me was concerned with possible damage to blood vessels at the back base of my neck and wanted to do a MRI. I told them under only the condition of being "knocked out" would I ever, ever, ever be able to get in a MRI tube. That would be way too claustrophobic for me......then I told them again and again and again. Finally Dr Liu the head neurologist came in and came up with something I could finally laugh at during this ordeal. He insisted I had to do the MRI and do it right now on UPenn grounds. No waiting for an open MRI. His instructions to the staff....."Snow Him". That's right, "Snow Him". Grace and I laughed at that line again and again!

"Snowing me" was pumping me with enough anti-anxiety medicine that would leave me just this side of being conscious. But I know myself and tried to tell them over and over. Put me in the MRI machine and I lasted literally 10 seconds, even with all that "snow" in me. So back to my observation bed and good news for me.....I was so exhausted from the high level of meds as I was out for about 5 hours. BAD news for Grace as she just had to sit there watching bad Saturday afternoon TV and listen to me snore. The fun never stops, huh?

So finally during this time they got smart and prepared me for a CT Scan of my head where they injected me with dye and looked at all the vessels this way. Grace said then and my right arm said later, thank goodness I had all that "snow" in me and was sleeping. It took the nurse about 6 pokes to get the IV going. My right arm is still discolored and it's been over 2 weeks. So obviously the results of the scan were good, just vertigo and off to NJ we went. But I was completely drained for the duration of the weekend and come Tuesday, was not really ready to come back for.........

WEEK 2

Actually after that weekend, pretty boring. By end of week I started to feel just the slightest bit of a sore throat. The only issue I had by week's end was probably due to my tenseness, they couldn't get me exactly straight on the table Thursday and Friday, so it took 3 tries to get my treatment going. Got a little "antsy" about this as it then turns into a longer time with the mask on and lying on the table. Love it when they get it right the first time, but as the staff said, it has got to be PERFECT positioning so they are zapping me in the right places.

Also during this week I went back to the Oncology Dentist to pick up my fluoride trays. Fluoride trays??? They are upper and bottom pieces that look exactly like a sports mouthpiece that were molded to my exact specifications. Each night for 5 minutes with each tray I put a fluoride gel in them and put them on. Radiation saps your teeth of fluoride and these help to regenerate the fluoride. One line of the instructions included these exact words and font.....DO EVERY NIGHT FOREVER. Guess that kinda says it all........Goodbye to Week 2 without any "thuds" to end the week.

Lastly.......many of you have commented to me via blog comments, (I encourage you do it this way) e-mails and phone calls about your positive thoughts on this blog. I couldn't do this blog or go through each and everyday without all of the friendship and positive reinforcement I have got from all of you. I can never say---THANK YOU---enough!!!

I keep on keeping on.......

Best Regards and God Bless!

David D